A Memory Garden

All of me changed like midnight

〰️

All of me changed like midnight 〰️

The way the sound of Swift has evolved since she began her career and especially these last few years has me in awe. While listening to “Love Story” or “Long Live” I never would have thought that one day we would be here. Through it all she maintained what I have always considered to be the essence of her music which is weaving emotional tales in her songs. The subject matter has matured as one would expect but for me since her very first album, she has been telling emotional and meaningful stories. Midnights is no exception in fact I would say that this album contains some of the most fervent, affecting stories she has ever told. They hit so hard because it is easy to tell that Swift has a strong connection to the subject matter. There are many tracks I want to talk about, I would tell you that I am going to keep my commentary brief but we all know that would be a lie.

Lavender Haze

This is one of only a handful of tracks on the album which explicitly mention the word midnight which happens right at the beginning. “Meet me at midnight.” With this album being about those late-night contemplations that bring thoughts which do not come at other times of day; this is a simple yet magnificent way of starting the album. It is inviting you to join in on the emotionally oscillating journey that is this album. 

I see this track as an unsent letter to someone who Swift greatly admires. It discusses topics such as societal pressures & perceptions and what it is like to grow up with the world watching. This is a subject that comes up in this album a few times. It is about breaking through these pressures and learning to ignore them to become your own person despite having this spotlight constantly shining on your life. Not only realizing but believing that what others expect of you is not what denotes your value or and also shouldn’t dictate your self-worth. Obviously growing up under such constant and oftentimes cruel scrutiny is not something that most people can relate to fully. What it would feel like is conveyed so well as you listen to this track that by the end, I had a greater understanding than I did previously.

[Pre-Chorus]

I been under scrutiny (Yeah, oh, yeah)

You handle it beautifully (Yeah, oh, yeah)

All this shit is new to me (Yeah, oh, yeah)

[Chorus]

I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me

Surreal

I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say

No deal

The 1950s shit they want from me

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze

[Verse 2]

All they keep asking me (All they keep asking me)

Is if I'm gonna be your bride

The only kinda girl they see (Only kinda girl they see)

Is a one-night or a wife

There are exceptional lyrics here which are incredibly emotive. I really enjoy the idea of this lavender haze being this world you escape to to get away from all these things you are sick of. This idea of absconding from the pressures of the world to rejuvenate yourself has popped up a number of times in Swift’s music ever since Folklore and I have appreciated all the diverse ways she has incorporated this theme since the release of that album.

Maroon

This track revolves around past wounds, regrets, grief, and everything else that comes along with them. This is also a recurring subject matter throughout this album. I was enthralled by how the color maroon is used to represent intense feelings. I found it difficult to choose what part of this track to highlight as this whole track comes together to present this elegantly tragic tale. I will talk about one thing that I always enjoy and that is when artists amend their chorus however subtle they might be. I am always interested in the way it changes the meaning and shows a progression during the track. 

And I chose you (lost you)

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was (Maroon)

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was (Maroon)

The mark thеy saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew bеtween telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

In the second chorus the word chose becomes lost and two echoes of the word maroon are added. The final chorus completely omits the first four lines. This shows that the story of these two individuals slowly ends as they drift apart. 

Anti-Hero

This track has one of Swift’s best introductions. The transitions between the first verse, pre-chorus and chorus are flawless. Such an impressive amount is said, and it is said in an ingenious way; I was hooked instantly. Despite that fact I was struggling with what exactly I wanted to say about this track. So, I decided to throw Folklore on my turntable for inspiration and when I made it to the track “Mirrorball” it hit me. There are both thematic and lyrical parallels between these tracks. This disco ball mentioned in “Mirrorball” represents individuals who are broken down and used by society for entertainment they are portraying whatever they are asked to. Lyrically in “Mirrorball” we hear “I am a mirrorball… shining just for you…watch my shattered edges glisten.” The subject of the track is a mirror and in “Anti-Hero” the chorus echoes “I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror.” That is some powerful imagery; the fact that while you feel like this forcibly adaptive mirror for everyone else, you do not want to look in the mirror to see what you have become. Ever since Folklore a recurring theme in Swift’s music has been the struggles of living with the expectations and constraints placed upon individuals by society and more specifically those placed upon women in our society. 

[Verse 1]

I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people

I've ghosted stand there in the room

[Pre-Chorus]

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis

(Tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day, I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)

[Chorus]

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

At teatime, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

[Pre-Chorus]

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman?

(A tale as old as time)

I had to point out some of the outstanding lyrics and superb rhyming present in this track. Who rhymes with the word narcissism? It is just fantastic.

Midnight Rain

Quite unsurprisingly this is the track that mentions the word midnight the most. While I see the message of this track to be about an arduous journey of self-discovery there are many other themes found which match those of many other tracks on this record. Those two things combined lead me to choose this track as one that is central to the album though this isn’t track five so I am probably completely off. As I said this track conjures up in my mind a grueling sojourn which leads to introspection through learning from the past, in this case a past relationship. This once again made it difficult to pick what lyrics to highlight so in this case I ended up choosing to highlight a majority of the track's lyrics.

[Verse 2]

It came like a postcard

Picture perfect shiny family

Holiday peppermint candy

But for him, it's every day

So, I peered through a window

A deep portal, time travel

All the love we unravel

And the life I gave away

'Cause he was sunshine, I was midnight rain

[Chorus]

He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride, I was making my own name

Chasing that fame, he stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride, I was making my own name

Chasing that fame, he stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

[Outro]

I guess sometimes we all get

Just what we wanted, just what we wanted

And he never thinks of me

Except for when I'm on TV

I guess sometimes we all get

Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted

And I never think of him

Except on midnights like this

(Midnights like this, midnights like this)

Bejeweled

This feels like a continuation of the last track that I talked about. In that song the subject was going through the difficulties that come at a relationship's end. Now in this track they have recovered, they have renewed confidence and have come to terms with the pitfalls that happened in the relationship. They are continuing their post relationship journey by putting themselves back out there and moving on. 

[Verse 1]

Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind

Didn't notice you walkin' all over my peace of mind

In the shoes I gave you as a present

Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five

And by the way, I'm goin' out tonight

[Chorus]

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put mе in the basement

Whеn I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

Karma

I see this very much as a direct message to a person who has really done you wrong. This is another track that I felt had some parallels with a track from Folklore; “My Tears Ricochet.” The lines which really sums it up is “If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too. And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain…Look at how my tears ricochet.” Both tracks do a magnificent job of expressing this idea that you will get back from the world what you put into it. “Karma” has some outstanding lyrical sections; I just love the way Swift has used all these clever lyrics to personify the concept of karma. It is truly magnificent, one of my top tracks on the album. 

This track is a smorgasbord for a lyrics junkie like me. There is so much here to enjoy, and this track has such an articulate flow to it. 

[Verse 1]

You're talking shit for the hell of it

Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant

You're terrified to look down

'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare

Of everyone you burned just to get there

It's coming back around

[Verse 2]

Spiderboy, king of thieves

Weave your little webs of opacity

My pennies made your crown

Trick me once, trick me twice

Don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

It's coming back around

[Chorus]

'Cause karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a god

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

Karma's a relaxing thought

Aren't you envious that for you it's not?

Sweet like honey, karma is a cat

Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

Me and karma vibe like that

[Breakdown]

'Cause karma is the thunder

Rattling your ground

Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter

Karma's gonna track you down

Step by step, from town to town

Sweet like justice, karma is a queen

Karma takes all my friends to the summit

Karma is the guy on the screen

Coming straight home to me

The Great War

They say that all is fair in love and war, which is not true, and this is something the lyrics mention towards the end. This track presents an exquisitely harrowing tale of what making it through a truly tumultuous experience in a relationship can be like. This track hit hardest during my first run through of the album. All the different elements of it come together so well you just cannot help but feel for the situation of the subjects in this track. 

I must highlight the ingenious way lyrical changes are used in the chorus to tell us how the story progresses. 

[Chorus]

All that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, sweet dream was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

Uh-huh, tears on the lеtter

I vowed not to cry anymore

If wе survived the Great War

[2nd Chorus]

Uh-huh, the bombs were closer

Uh-huh, the burning embers

I vowed not to fight anymore

If we survived the Great War

[3rd Chorus]

Uh-huh, the worst was over

Uh-huh, we're burned for better

I vowed I would always be yours

'Cause we survived the Great War

This track does a fantastic job at narrating the story being told, I love it. 

[Bridge]

It turned into something bigger

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

Your finger on my hairpin triggers

Soldier down on that icy ground

Looked up at me with honor and truth

Broken and blue, so I called off the troops

That was the night I nearly lost you

I really thought I'd lost you

When “the haze” is mentioned in the bridge I wonder if it has multiple meanings. The song has referenced bombs going off, so the haze of battle is an obvious possible meaning. I also wonder if it is referencing the first track of the album “Lavender Haze.” It shows what can happen if we remain in that “Lavender Haze” for too long. 

[Verse 3]

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

And we will never go back

The ending of this track feels very reverent and melancholy; almost ceremonial. It is beautiful and has a Shakespearean feel to it. 

Like we were in Paris

~

Like we were in Paris ~

Paris 

It could be that I am looking too hard and seeing things that are not there, but I see a connection to Lavender Haze; there are parallel themes. Those being self-care, disconnecting from the noise, forgetting about all the drama and being “somewhere else” with someone you love. What you do or where you go is not important just that you are there. If I had to pick a favorite track from the album at this moment in time it would be this one. I really relate to the message that it conveys and love the way that it gets there. This song is chalk full of stupendous lines.

I have yet to discover if there is any specific significance or correlation with the tracks that mention midnight in them. The only obvious connection I see thus far is that all the tracks which mention midnight are speaking about events occurring at midnight or thereabouts. 

[Pre-Chorus]

I'm so in love that I might stop breathing

Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling

No, I didn't see the news

'Cause we were somewhere else

Stumbled down pretend alleyways

Cheap wine, make believe it's champagne

I was taken by the view

[Chorus]

Like we were in Paris

Like we were somewhere else

Like we were in Paris, oh

We were somewhere else

[Verse 2]

Privacy sign on the door

And on my page and on the whole world

Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours

Levitate above all the messes made

Sit quiet by my side in the shade

And not the kind that's thrown

I mean, the kind under where a tree has grown

The imagery of wanting to place this physical privacy sign across all the facets of your life is both clever and relatable even for those of us who do not have our lives strewn across news articles and tabloids. I do not know about the rest of you, but I do sometimes feel like there is just too much information and getting away from all of it feels necessary. 

[Bridge]

I wanna brainwash you

Into loving me forever

I wanna transport you

To somewhere the culture's clever

Confess my truth

In swooping, sloping, cursive letters

Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight

In my mind

The “confess my truth…” part has always stuck out to me; swooping, sloping, cursive letters in my mind represents being bold, and unapologetically honest. It conjures an image in my mind, it is a creative comparison to make.

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

This track talks about dealing with past trauma, pain, regret & accountability. This is another instance where I would say it is talking about a very personal experience; someone is being held accountable for mistakes they made. It is a way to heal from the pain they caused the subject of the track, whether this other person acknowledges it or not. It is part of the healing process to recognize what happened on either side; to take responsibility for mistakes you made and hold the other party accountable for their wrong doings as well. It was the track “Betty” from Folklore which inspired this line of thinking since the track is written to be the apology that most often never comes. 

I realize there is an abundance of lyrics here; that is because they are all just that good. There is so much passion and honesty. The story told is so authentic. I can feel the heartache and the courage. There is torment and it is not resolved completely but that is how it is oft times with love. When you let someone in completely into your life you are granting them the ability to completely change your life. They are granting that to you as well; some choose to use this power for destruction whether purposefully or otherwise. When that happens recovery requires an emotional expedition; even then some ordeals leave scars which never disappear entirely. 

[Verse 1]

If you would've blinked, then I would've

Looked away at the first glance

If you tasted poison, you could've

Spit me out at the first chance

And if I was some paint, did it splatter

On a promising grown man?

And if I was a child, did it matter

If you got to wash your hands?

[Chorus]

I would've stayed on my knees

And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil

At nineteen

And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts

Memories feel like weapons

And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering

[Verse 2]

If you never touched me, I would've

Gone along with the righteous

If I never blushed, then they could've

Never whispered about this

And if you never saved me from boredom

I could've gone on as I was

But, Lord, you made me feel important

And then you tried to erase us

[Bridge]

God rest my soul

I miss who I used to be

The tomb won't close

Stained glass windows in my mind

I regret you all the time

I can't let this go

I fight with you in my sleep

The wound won't close

I keep on waiting for a sign

I regret you all the time

[Verse 3]

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?

Years of tearing down our banners, you and I

Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts

Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

With these last few albums Swift has made it increasingly hard for me to determine which album I enjoy most. The last three albums have been a shift from what we knew. Previously her songs felt like windows into her life as if they were letters from her to specific people or groups of people who often deserved much more than just the verbal lashing she delivered. I am not saying all her songs dealt with that that would be entirely unfair. Some were apologies or her thoughts and feelings on life and lessons learned and others were just fun. Those tracks still exist but so do several tracks that are told from an unfamiliar perspective. They are pulled back and dealing with widely applicable struggles and issues. They feel like they are written for her listeners who may struggle with such issues. I have enjoyed her albums since the beginning with one exception, but this shift has created albums that are even more emotionally affecting than before. I would still probably say my top album is Folklore especially after my recent dive back into everything contained there; for me it is transcendent, surpassing any of the albums Swift has released before or since.