End Up Alone

After a few years I probably shouldn’t be surprised by this anymore but I am. What blows me away is the way Alanna is able to reach into the very depths of my soul and bring my innermost feelings to the surface. It is so rare that I actually cannot recall a time when I have listened to Alanna’s music and it has not become an emotional and cathartic experience.

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End Up Alone

I must preface my opening statement by saying that I am no musician, producer and I know absolutely nothing about sound engineering or anything related to it. Having said that, I think it is amazing how much subtle changes(or changes that seem subtle to me) can affect the way a song sounds as well as the way it hits you when you hear it. 

This time around “End Up Alone” has an exquisitely somber and intimate tone. A number of times things become so quiet like they are being whispered and it goes a long way to establishing the feel of the track which for me is both melancholy and empowering. This is not an easy line to walk yet in this track it is done in a most superb manner. The lyrics in this track are so exquisitely crafted describing the story so ingeniously; like an artist choosing the perfect colors for their painting. I have heard this song before many times but this version pulled me in from the start and it was as if I was discovering the song for the first time. The second and third verses struck me harder than they ever had previously. 

“I still have your taste in my mouth

Feels like it’s something I can't live without

It′s been a long, long time but you won′t commit

I'm not sure why I stay here, waiting for it…

A secret I keep to myself

Well I can′t rely on anyone else

I'm not fancy, there isn′t much to it

And you, you want love but that is too much commitment”

The emotional and literal aftertaste of a relationship is most assuredly a thing but I had never heard described that way before and I think it is absolutely magnificent. I can certainly relate to staying in a relationship for longer than I probably should have for one reason or another whether it was tunnel vision, rose-colored glasses or whatever other form of denial or ignorance I have done it all. The longer things last the harder it is before that aftertaste dissipates. The last verse is so introspective and contains such a powerful realization; one that took me far too long to understand. It is simple on the surface but so profound when you really take the time to think about it. I spent too much time trying to please other people; trying to find someone that would change me, make me happy and the like. When I finally figured out that I must be able to stand on my own before I could be happy with someone else, it transformed the way I thought about many things. As I listened to this track took me on a journey through pivotal moments of my life; tears of both joy and sorrow were shed. The process of writing about this track was quite compelling and after I was finished I felt really good.