Hiraeth
I have been highly anticipating this Hiraeth since I became aware of its impending release. There was an EP which released back in May which only served to skyrocket my level of excitement. I am happy to say that the wait was so incredibly worth it This is a tremendous album with so much to unpack and discover. I am in awe. The writing is so poetic in a classical, traditional sort of way that I don’t come across very often. As I was digging through the tracks it really felt so much like analyzing poetry even more so than usual. There are occasionally moments when I come across a song that truly causes me to think deeply, look at my past and to even take a look inside myself. As I went through this album I had more of those moments than I was expecting. It was an awe-inspiring experience.
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Maybe my desire
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Set us both on fire
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Burning only me
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Maybe my desire ~ Set us both on fire ~ Burning only me ~
Goodbye
“It was raining leaves when I said goodbye
The universe, it prized you from my hands
'Cause when somebody leaves and you don’t know why
Spend all your days living in little lies”
This evokes such magnificently beautiful imagery. The leaves falling all around while feeling tormented by the fact that someone you care about was forcibly removed from your life for reasons that you cannot entirely discern. “Spend all your days living in little lies” that is such a brilliantly apt description of what such a situation can feel like. Whether it is true or not it is easy to make yourself believe that it would be easier to deal with if you just knew why.
“I was convinced you'd come back
Tell me that you miss me
But then again I always was a fool for you
And I was convinced you'd fall back
On our history
God got me saying ’finally, finally'“
This part of the track always strikes me somewhere deep inside, it does such a phenomenal job of helping the listener to understand the psyche of the song's subject. I feel like I am so aware of what is being felt it is painful in the best kind of way.
“Bye bye, goodbye (to my favourite lie)
Bye bye, goodbye
Time, time, this time
It changed my life
And it changed my mind
Bye bye, goodbye…”
I am moved by the ambiguity of the tracks ending. The way I feel about it seems to change depending on the mood I am in and the way the ending hits really changes my perspective on the song.
Full Me, Half You
“Damn I'm so much like my Mother
Blinded by a tempting light
Should have learned it from my Father
But maybe you were clear
Couldn't even see the
Forest for the trees
And maybe you were water
Moving like a current
That brought me to my knees”
Sometimes you jump into things so quickly, perhaps blindly believing that it will work out somehow. My experience has been that such an endeavor doesn’t work out well. It is not an easy or enjoyable lesson to learn and that is illustrated well here.
”I went in for a two
Gave a full me to a half you
Babe, at least I tried
What did you do?
What did you do?
I went in for a new
But you're in the old and overdue
Babe, at least I tried
What did you do?
What did you do?
What did you do?”
The feeling that you are putting forth more into a relationship than someone else is an age old tale however the way it is written here makes me think about such a relationship differently. Rather than being blamed on laziness or a lack of caring it is likened to only giving half of yourself as well as being wrapped up in the old and overdue. I think this could be perhaps another way of saying that someone is caught up in what is easy and familiar, not wanting to put forth the required effort or to take a risk on something new which could quite possibly be better.
“Saw her face there on the wire
My heart dropped
I didn't have you as a liar
You sold me on your glitter
In the light of winter
Gold is ash and dust
But I was a beginner
Didn't even consider
We wouldn't be us”
This feels like a brilliant way of stating how you feel for them yet what they promised turns out to be empty; all flash or “glitter” with no substance behind it. I don’t see it as being due to naivety but rather not seeing everything that was there because you were invested and giving of yourself fully. So you just didn’t see it coming.
“Maybe my desire
Set us both on fire
Burning only me
Thank you for December
Giving me the embers
God they're bittersweet”
As I listen to this track I can feel the tragedy which seem to almost emanate from it; this ending though is incredibly agonizing in a very cleansing kind of way. Each and every time I listen it strikes at my emotional core. “Maybe my desire..” Wow! This is so superbly written, the thoughts and emotions it evokes. I cannot get over how much I enjoy it. I feel as if I know exactly what is being spoken of. Everything you put into the relationship was so ambitious and yet when everything burns up in the end only you are affected because you were the one actually invested. I would like to think in most relationships there are at least some good things that come from them but seeing such things and trying to reconcile them with how horribly things ended is can be a complex ordeal to undertake.
What’s It Like To Love Me
“I often wonder
What I'm like to be around
Am I too quiet, too intense or too loud?
Do I ask too many questions or sing too much?
And are you comfortable when our hands touch?
What's it like to love me?
Is it, is it easy?
I wanna know, I wanna know
What's it like to be on the other side of this feeling?
I wanna know, I wanna know
I often wonder
Will I repeat it all again?
Who will I fall for this time and will they stay my friend?
Will it go the distance?
Will I take their name?
Or will I love too much and mess it up again?
What's it like to love me?
Is it, is it easy?
I wanna know, I wanna know
What's it like to be on the other side of this feeling?
I wanna know, I wanna know
'Cause if I'm gonna do this again, oh I need a friend
To tell me when I'm losing myself, oh When I'm losing them
Oh if I'm gonna do this again, oh I need a friend
To tell me when I'm losing myself, oh When I'm losing them
What's it like to love me?
Is it, is it easy?
I wanna know, I wanna know
What's it like to be on the other side of this feeling?
I wanna know, I wanna know”
I mentioned earlier how gorgeously poetic I find the writing in this album and that is especially true of this track. It feels so poetic and yet simultaneously so impromptu and genuine. This track is so engaging and sympathetic; I remember being so astonished the first time I listened as I thought to myself “Wow, they really get it, they have felt this before and know what it is like.” I think that everyone has had similar feelings to those described here. Wanting to know how you come across to others especially to someone you are in a relationship with is a very empathic idea. I know that I have asked myself the same kinds of questions but I also know that I would not be able to articulate those feelings in such a remarkably concise manner.
Let It Go
“Sitting in my brother's bedroom
Feeling like I'm at the end of
All the pain I can handle
I'm scratching off my skin, scraping you off my mind
I'm asking my Dad for help
He doesn't know how to help me
He can see it so clearly
'Cause there's better to come if I just stay here alive
Ooo, see it all and feel it all to let it go
Ooo, trust the sun will rise again tomorrow
Do I blame it on the seasons?
Do I blame it on myself?
Do I even need a reason?
'Cause when all is said and done
Did I even try?
And how, how do I pick myself off the ground?
I can taste the soil in my mouth
Did I even try?
Ooo, see it all and feel it all to let it go
Ooo, trust the sun will rise again tomorrow
Ooo, see it all and feel it all to let it go
Ooo, trust the sun will rise again tomorrow
I know it's hard
To see outside when you're in it
But you are infinite
And when do the birds not trust the sky?”
This whole album is so emotionally affecting and this track is definitely the one that affects me the most. While I don’t have a whole lot of specific insight in regards to this track. It certainly makes me think of a few specific moments in my life which really cause it to hit home as they say. Life will at times bring moments that fill you with so much agony you question how you will continue, how you could ever learn to live again. Such situations are not only excruciatingly difficult for those experiencing them but also for those around you as there is really not much of anything they can do to help. The reality of life is that whether you like it or not there will be certain experiences that you have to trudge your way through alone. Such experiences teach you how to honestly grieve. This track illustrates the state of mind that such an ordeal puts you in and it does so in a most superb way.
While listening to this album it became apparent rather quickly that there is an explicit theme present. I figured the album title likely had something to do with it so I decided to see if I could figure out what exactly hiraeth meant. I am quite ignorant when it comes the culture of Wales and as it turns out there is far more debate on the meaning of this word then I would have expected. What I discovered was that at its most basic level it means “longing”, anything that goes deeper than that seems very up for debate at least according to threads I found within the Wales subreddit. Some say it is also connected to longing for a home that you cannot return to, or perhaps a home that you wish for but never was as well as a grief for people in your life that you have lost for whatever reason. This album is brimming with such compelling and palpable feelings of grief and of longing. I know that I still have much more to glean from this sumptuous album and it instantly made it into my top ten albums of the year.
