Songs of the heart
Natalie Paige
〰️
Natalie Paige 〰️
As I began listening to Diary Music the first time through I decided I would like each song on Spotify that I really wanted to write about. Once I finished listening I just had one problem, I had liked every single track. They all are brimming with such meaning and depth. I was drawn in to each and every one. I want to talk about some things that stuck out to me.
As I listened to the album I noticed some specific repeating words; they were more than just words though they were connected to themes, feelings and the like.
“Doing Alright” & “Retrospect”
“Oh, dear hopes and dreams, tell me what it means
It's weary living life just in retrospect
I'll get it all figured out, and then I can start
But something's gotta help me to get through just this part”
“Many times, I’ve asked time to wait
I always learn my lessons too late
Retrospect is just a useless friend
Constant wisdom on the mend”
I am quite familiar with the idea of feeling like you are living your life through a lens of the past. Only learning lessons the hard way after the damage has been done. It can really skew your perspective; it can feel as if you’ve hit a wall and can only see through a small hole in it. Yet you have this great wide view of your past especially your mistakes and shortcomings. It is not easy to work through this and there are no easy answers. Things such as this are just a part of life. It may sound a bit odd to say this but I find comfort in the fact there are no answers to be found in these tracks rather it is the experiences of someone who has been there. Sometimes it's not answers that you really need. It is more encouraging just to know that someone else has felt similar to you. That is what I glean from these tracks.
“Stuck Around”, “Doing Alright”, “Caught”, “Quicksand” & “Open Up”
“Is this the song you wanted
When I'm not around
Does it make you feel important
When it plays in your town”
“Seascapes of green, rocks on the shore
I wander rosy skies, too, and oh-so much more
I want to wake up at noon, but be home by five, maybe
back out at ten, I want to feel alive”
“I know you mean so well, so why should you feel a thing?
I know you mean so well, it's not fair you feel a thing”
“I started to think that I could do it all
I could speak my mind, I didn't have to feel small
but there's something in the air, it doesn't like my lungs”
“You divert your eyes, hang your head like you feel so afraid
You spill out some words like a breath you’d been trying to save
Your walls all come down and you speak in low tones
It kills me to think you would feel so alone
As you tell me you feel so safe, so safe, in my arms”
Your emotional state and feelings are fascinating concepts; much like music no two people will go through any experience in the same way. We are constantly feeling something, always thinking about our feelings. Whether it be consciously or subconsciously feelings take up quite a space in our lives. While the word feel may only be explicitly mentioned in the aforementioned tracks, feelings and emotions are ideas which persist throughout this album. Throughout this album many different feelings are so eloquently expressed I found myself transported to these various spaces in my head, some that I hadn’t visited in a while. The point being this album doesn’t shy away from tough concepts; it will cause you to feel.
“Stuck Around”, “Doing Alright”, “Open Up” “Totems”
All these tracks have two things in common; they mention the word heart and they kick you right in the heart. Natalie is an expert in the use of words and these tracks are fantastic evidence of that fact. More than any other tracks on the album these weave together a tale that doesn’t just cause me to feel something but actually causes me to hurt. The pain conveyed in these tracks is so remarkably sincere I feel incapable of expressing it adequately. There is so much more to all these tracks beyond the words. That is what’s truly magnificent about music. When you find yourself in a situation where words fail you; that is where music thrives. I believe there is nothing we experience which music cannot wholly express.
“You didn't stay in my heart for too long
You just stuck around
I thought it meant something like giving a damn
Let you grasp my heart like you know who I am
Let you lie, cheat, love, mock all without being more than a bad friend”
“There's a dream of a house to shelter my heart
but the crystal is black, it's tearing me apart
I need to count every dime, pre-fill my cup
now I'm almost 25, and my mind is not made up”
“Walking on eggshells trying to find a safe way I can say
How much I love you and all my intention to stay
If your heart is too burdened to let that nerve fray
If your lungs can’t support all the words you don’t say
Then I’ll sing you my soul ‘cause these words you never
Turn away”
“Maybe when I’m older
more removed I’ll be from that old heart I know
I’ll keep a secret totem
in reflections to always lead back home”
Click to listen to the album
