Summertime Serenades
It's always summer in my heart and in my soul
~
It's always summer in my heart and in my soul ~
I have talked much in the past about love on this blog. How it can be quite complicated, difficult, open us up to vulnerabilities and the list goes on. I have been thinking on this subject a lot recently, mainly due to the music I’ve been listening to and now I think differently. (This is probably hopelessly obvious to most people so if you wanna skip ahead while I am getting a clue that is cool with me.) I have come to the realization that it is not love in and of itself that is complicated rather it is those involved who complicate it. We each bring with us a history, vulnerabilities, idiosyncrasies, etc and another individual brings all those same things. All that added together creates a scenario where complications are inevitable. This doesn’t really have a drastic effect on what I have said before on this subject but it has changed how I think about it. Love is actually fairly simple and we complicate it sometimes unnecessarily but mainly it is just the nature of being human.
Currently this moving track is available exclusively on Bandcamp click the image to check it out
Don’t - Cerian
As I was preparing this post and listening to this track I had this moment where the song just hits me. It was the first time I wasn’t just listening to the song but was actually feeling it way down deep inside. I was tearing up and experiencing the most cleansing and cathartic kind of sadness. This is a very moving, touching track. There is pain present here and thanks to Cerian’s outstanding vocals you experience a portion of it as you listen.
“Don’t worry, love, you’re safe in my trust,
And I’ll do the hurting for both of us,
Just don’t break your heart, don’t break your heart on me.
One day I will find the right words,
One day I will find the right way,
For only then will it be clear there’s nothing left to say.”
Wow! Just wow! What powerful lyrics and they are so dynamically delivered; so eloquent, and soul-stirring. I feel it each and every time I listen. Just when you think you can recover the ending hits you and by this time the tears were coming down.
“Don’t worry, love, that fate is unjust,
Again and again I will break for us.
So don’t break your heart,
Cos I’ll break my heart
For you.”
Just before this there is a line “Don’t worry love, take all that you must,” started my emotional break down and once I heard “again and again I will break for us” I lost it, I was done. The way Cerian just immaculately describes this scenario where you love someone else so much they’ve taken all priority in your life to the point that your feelings almost no longer matter. Its incredibly relatable and agonizing in the best way possible. Sometimes you just need to feel something and this track has gone on my “bring the feelz” playlist I wish it hadn’t taken me so damn long to realize how superb this track is.
Pins and Needles - Anna Luther
Love doesn't usually strike when it is convenient for you and when it hits you quite often you feel this complete loss of control over your emotions. It is difficult to convey feelings such as these but Anna does so here with great proficiency. There are such brilliant uses of figurative language in this track and I love the excellent story that is crafted here.
“So many words and I don't wanna choose the wrong ones
And if you go first then I may never pick out some
It feels like there's static in my body's attic
And the white noise won't settle down
So give me a moment just so I can refill my lungs”
The lyrics in this track are like a sunken pirate ship full of treasure to me. So much here that I love. Caring so much about what you say that you hung up on every word and it takes everything you have just to say something; which at least if you are me, it never turns out anything like you planned. The line about static really paints the picture of what its like to just not feel like yourself you are just so wrapped up it is hard to stay calm and you have to remind yourself to breathe.
“I hate that I have certain things memorized
Like your favorite movie or the color of your eyes
It's as if you're lovely, something to study
But trust me I'd unlearn you if I could
'Cause falling in love never feels like I've won a prize
My body's on pins and needles
Waiting for another riddle
Picking off flower petals and eyelashes when I run out
You make my stomach churn in the best worst way
I threw my hat in a ring I never wanted to play
And all these stars in my eyes make it hard to stay up right
But I'm still waiting for your call tonight”
As you listen to this track it is so easy to picture what Anna is talking about. You hear it and think to yourself “yeah I have been there” and not only has Anna clearly been there to but she has such a grasp on what it’s like that she describes in a way that so many could relate to. That is a mark of a magnificent writer; it is one thing to experience something but it is something completely different to describe that situation in such a way that others can so perfectly grasp what you are talking about.
What About Me- Jayne & the Huntsmen
It could be a case of my own obliviousness but I want to believe it is more due to the wisdom contained in the lyrics which causes me to be kind of stumped as to their meaning. I do have some thoughts which hopefully aren’t completely insane and also somewhat worthwhile. What comes to my mind is the idea of a relationship which has ended but it is one that you were more invested in than the other person and for them it seems to have ended awhile ago but you were still holding on. They wanted to you change or maybe were just looking for something different than you. Probably many of us have been there. In a relationship where we were wronged, deeply hurt and no apology given or at least not a very good one and that just adds another layer to everything you must process at the end of a relationship. You’ve learned by this point to not expect an apology or reconciliation so you are simply doing what you can to work through it on your own.
“Coming up for air
My head is spinning and I
I feel it now, I feel it now
Holding on to hope
I’m tied at the end of a rope and I can’t
Feel it how, I feel it now”
Throughout the track we get a few variations of the line “I feel it now” “I can’t feel it how..” I feel it how, I feel it now.” The way it goes back and forth just feels so very true to life. I like to call it emotional rubberbanding, you are processing something and find yourself in one emotional state than another and another, at some point you seem to snap back to essentially where you started. But it’s not about the fact that you ended up back in the same place it’s about the things that you learned along the way (yeah that sounds quite cliché but I’m sticking with it). This song hits me so hard not solely because of the lyrics, it is also Jayne’s voice. There is this rough and organic quality to it that to me makes each song feel as if they just sat down right after going through something and just sang what they felt and we are getting that raw unfiltered take to listen to. I know that isn’t the case; I am sure much time and effort went into creating this track. There are some things that can’t be replicated no matter how much time you spend in a studio and Jayne’s exceptional vocal timbre is certainly one of those things. She sings with such impressive emotion that each track just feels so organic and personal. It is a big reason why I felt so engaged from the very first time I listened to the EP. Which you should definitely go listen to it is just spectacular from beginning to end.
Little by Little - Hayley Wilson
Oh the familiar pains of heartbreak and moving on. It is typically a rather arduous process at least that has been my experience. This track talks about how it is something that you must take a day at a time; small step by small step. This song is a great example of how much vocals and the production of a track can really change its meaning. Solely reading the lyrics of the track gives me a different feeling than those I get when listening to the track. I get into this very strong hope and empowerment state of mind as I listen to the song.
“I don't spend a lot of time thinking about you
But when I do my whole world stops
My heartbeat drops
I do what I can to turn it all off
Two steps forward one step back
How long’s this gonna last
Two steps forward one step back
Just trying to leave you in the past
So little by little
Somewhere in the middle
Halfway there no I don't care (I don't care)
If your name comes up
But if you show up
Gonna be a setback
Get me on the wrong track
Little by little
Somewhere in the middle
Oh of getting over you”
I enjoy that there isn’t this definite resolution as the track ends because how often does life ever feel all tied up in a nice bow? You have to accept that will be some bumps and bruises along the way, you are likely to get off track probably more than once. But you have a plan that you are working through and you know that you will get through it, it is just going to take time. It is yet another cliché I know but sometimes time is what’s necessary to heal your wounds.
Sad Thoughts - Tyler Levs
A reflection on processing your thoughts after a relationship has ended. You wish you could go back because there are things you could have done differently but perhaps there is not. You just want to go back to when things were good as currently you just feel so damn awful. I have literally been hit by a truck while on bicycle; broken many bones throughout my life and yet the worst pain I’ve experienced has been caused by love in its many forms.
“Tell me how you've been doing lately
I tell you I've been doing fine
At least that's the way that it goes when
I play it in my mind
Spaces in between my fingers
Still remember what they felt like when they were entwined
Now that life plays in fast forward
All I wanna do is rewind
It's fine
I think sad thoughts
All the time”
Reconciling what you feel with what you think you are expected to be feeling can be difficult. Sometimes people want to put a timeline on when you should be over what you are experiencing. This is a completely ridiculous idea which nobody should ever listen to but I cannot say that I have never listened to such foolishness before.
“ I can still see you in my rearview
Every time my key hits the ignition
I wish it felt like we never existed
But my feelings are so intermittent
Tell me how tell me why I am
Set in this position
Cause you and I said forever I guess
Forever has a different definition”
It is basically impossible to not think about the plans you had that are no longer going to happen; forever doesn’t always mean forever for one reason or another. If you’ve been following this blog for at least a few months you are aware of how wordy I can be at times. So tracks like this one that are able to say so much using a small amount of words are very impressive to me. There is a great deal more to this track than the words that are sung.
